Meshing

Days like these tend to all blend together and unsure of how to sort or remember.  Always waiting for those moments that spark and forever hold a spot, some forgotten...striving.

STELLA

Beautiful Stella....had the chance to see her again today!! I could stare at her all day long. Can't believe how much she has grown since the last time I saw her.

Rainy Day

Another Monday has come and gone. I am very thankful to be here and have family who loves me.  Need to get out of this slump, coin size problems once upon a time. Why can't it be that easy anymore?

Fall Day

Can't keep up

Time has a way of getting lost in life, so unsure of what I am doing or who I am.  Once upon a time, I thought I knew.  Maybe I am stuck in these moments, trying to escape my own destiny.  I take photos and love it, but can't seem to get things together.

Running and running

Night has become my favorite time of day recently. I tend to do my best thinking at that time.  So many thoughts, do they ever stop? Unsure of  many things, feels a little unsettling. Help me Lord to see your plan.

Black out

Another crazy storm....out of power for most of the day. Always interesting...know the amish are laughing at us. Thank God for electricity!

Momma

Today was a great day, hanging with momma.  Feels good to be home with the fam. Hopefully job happens sooner than later, have to be living.

Monday blues

Not sure if these blues are from Monday or just in general. Do they really exist? Life is so unexpected, I think that's good in a way. Keeps me on my toes at least.

Down time

A little down time today.... great hanging with the fam. Tomorrow starts a new week.  Looking forward to getting settled once again.  Uprooting has become a path of mine for a while now.

Little Lost

First weekend back home...feels good, but so strange in a way. I am lost in my own mind, and unsure how to leave.  Help me remember the way.

Red

Remember the sweet smell of old roses from long ago. Stale and crumbling, my flushed face recalls those girlhood dreams.  Born into my blood, seeping through.

Going home

Where is home?

A place I have ran to. A place I have ran from. Why do I run from anything? It's a place that has become haunted, but it's a part of me, always.  The roads of Scio hold so many memories, ones I long to reach again. I hold them all so close, and try to remember details. Scared I will forget them one day.  It's a place where I know I am loved. Always thought and felt I had to do something wonderful. Who's to say what I am doing now isn't wonderful? The small town air is beautiful to me.  At times it can get old, but it's ok....it's home.  People there smile, really smile.  We may not have much, but we have each other. That's all that matters really.... "Going away sometimes brings us home"

Lemon Goodness

I remember....

I remember driving, downpouring, tires sliding, screams, and for a split second wondered what was going to happen next.  Stopped abruptly, anxiously wanting out.  Shock, a little intense laughter, stepping out as the coldness pelts down on our warm pulsing skin.  Drenching our worries away, happy to feel, touch, and see rain as we realize he is with us. 

I don't remember the pain, but I do.  Try to etch it out deeply, through the skin, the bone.  Feel the sinking swim.  Try to escape to happiness, someone else's happiness, not sure if mine existed.  Holding on to the time and place where peace begins. I don't remember the screams, and cursing but I do.  Pulling the pillow over, earmuffing the cries, wanting to be there, for him, unsure of how.
Failed as a human being. Walked away without feeling, numbness had taken over. Separated from one another, digging deeper into no man's land.  A land far away, unknown to many, unknown to us.

Spilling Words

Eyes
Nose
Hair
Mouth
Dripping with words,

spilling over.

Today was Vintage shopping, antiquing and booking. Had a great time, exploring Rochester downtown. Found some great places, and purchased a 1950s toaster for $12, works great! ;)

FRIDAY

The commons where people come together, eat, and be merry. ;)   comfy place, and food pretty tasty.We had our own fair in M lot, can you believe it! What will RIT come up with next!?

History and Aesthics class for Photography, quite interesting. Always love studying photographs

Fridge of Champions

Day of what?

Can someone tell me why or what? So unsure of so many things. I believe, I really do but am still so oblivious. It hurts to think to know and then get this far and still not know.

Wandering

After a nice run and workout decided to hang on campus and be surrounded by people, even though they were strangers. Checked out some flyers from the interfaith life, and found some cool stuff. Excited to get involed and see what happens.

Lonely Day

First day of classes. Couldn't stop thinking about you. Every second of every thought. Couldn't stop looking at photos, making it worse. I just want to make it all stop, take it away for all of us.  Give us strength Father, get us through this if that is what we do.

Day of Rest?

Made myself get up this morn and go to church, needed to be there....was feeling out of place. Had a good day getting things figured. Room is finally clean, things somewhat organized.


"Life After God"

Time how the trees grow. I will fall asleep for a 1000 years, and when I wake, a mighty spruce tree will have raised me up high, high into the sky.

lazy day

another day...not much happening....scored a table, thats about it...lol trying to prepare myself for classes. hmmmm what to do?

On the road again

Back in Rochester, love the apartment, just empty. Need to get stuff going, but I'm being extremely lazy and getting over cold. Roomie very cool.

Thoughts were sorta in a whirlwind today, all over the place. When do we stop wishing upon that star? How do we fix us?

Pieces

Pieces of our world floating....where do they come from? where do they go?