Salt Fork

Spent some time in the sun....greatness it was. Beauty was unmasked as we danced.  

Time

Yesterday....Today....Tomorrow....always.

Days like these....

Great days with family and friends. So thankful for them. Amazing people, where would I be without you.

First Watch Cravings

Famous Banana and Peanut butter pancake, my craving was satisfied.

Back in C-bus having a great time. I miss it here, I really do. I know for now it is not where I am supposed to be. He has another plan for me, and I can't wait to see where it takes me.


I lie here in my own mind, trying to stop time and can only think of him. Hear the clock ticking, and wonder what is this all about? Time is a beautiful thing, we control it in a weird way, just not the way we crave.  Sometimes feel like I'm in a whirlwind, unsure of so many things.  It's hard for me to only think surface life, rarely ever.  I can't stop my thoughts and feelings.  There is a cure, if only I would use it. Since sometime I have started thinking crazy, so strange to me how everything changes. Things never thought, wonder if this is true or if I'm losing me.  I strain to hold on. I love this life. We see and feel. We do and feel. We touch and feel.  We hear and feel.  What does this mean?  So strange to me, why is it so hard to grasp the time we have, cherish it. In the moment no one realizes, after we live for it.

Met Zeva today as well, great day so far.

Real Today or tomorrow?

Um....sometimes I think we are watching our own life as a tv show, and the real life is somewhere we left behind and escaped us.  Unsure of where it begins or ends.  I felt so strange today as I was on my run, wasn't sure of my own feelings or actions.  I understand how people may go crazy and be mislead. It's all a bunch of bullshit, are we really even here?

Blah day.....

Today was just one of those days...I wish those days didn't exist anymore, but I guess that's just life.  Break is almost over, sorta looking forward to going back to Rochester. New adventures and excitement. Fingers crossed and head bowed that things flow together. Hopefully dreamland is coming....crashing.

Ode to Stella

I was blessed with Stella's presence today, made my day! Grandma Carol, Hunter, and I drove up to see our new Reese addition. So happy to have another Reese girl in the fam, was beginning to worry;) She is beautiful, and can't wait to see her grow. These are the moments that really count, must hold them close. Heather and Dustin- such proud parents!

Scio Roading

very interesting signs, direct and truthful. scio roading. miss them when I'm gone. 

Family Ties

partially good day, strange anymore how I hold moments so close and realize must be thankful for each one that brings a smile. time passes by so quickly, wanting to freeze, wanting to go on. ever a happy medium?

Cheddars

Missing...

puzzle pieces

please come together

Life gives us lemons

Happiness??

Happiness...
What is it?
Where does it go?
How do you get it back?

Floating memories

First day of Scio Street Fair....77 years and still going strong. It is a part of me that I can never miss.  Strange to be home there without him. It will never be the same. So many great memories and feelings as I walk the street.  See so many faces, only searching for one.  Make myself think I see him, hoping for a glimpse.

Red bed dreams

My dreams came back to me last night, it was all thanks to the red bed at my Grandma Carol's.  It has been a safe haven for me since I can remember. I was hoping this is where they would return, hopefully they stick around.  I dreamed of him, and I woke up feeling better than I have in a long time. Love n miss you more than words can say.

breathing time

I made it home safe and sound, a little strange to actually be here.  Even though this is my home, it feels odd.  I have had this whole other life for the summer, and was used to the people and environment more than expected.  It is harder to keep up with blogging here, but I have to stay strong and keep going.  A few missed days here and there, but I really do enjoy this. It has also become another part of my life.

LAST DAY-Final Project

today is the last day of classes for summer transfer....i couldn't be happier for a break and to be going home, but i am for sure a little sad in a way.  to bond with complete strangers in only 10 weeks, and to realize we all have more in common than they think.  all humans, striving towards something to hold onto.  this has been my life for the last 3 months and it's going to be strange not following those footsteps, come fall we will all be blended with others.  hopefully we hold on to this time and realize we are all here for a reason.

This is my final project....St. Mary's BINGO;) Enjoy, hope you like. Sadly, audio was messed up. I apologize!

Don't leave, i need you.

Where do they go?

 

Feel like I am losing my beautiful dreams and thoughts, or am I losing life?

 Wake up and wonder where have I been??

Emptiness instills my mind, and wonder if my dreams disppeared when he left? 

Need them back to see him, to feel him, and to know.  

Real is all I have, and it hurts. 

When does it go away, when does it wither?

Intriguing captures

A new discovery

Discovered the most beautiful and amazing place today, called Lightways.  A hippie store, going back to it's roots.  Owned by two women who have inspired me. This place is for anyone who wants a new beginning or just a place of peace. Nature is surrounding every aspect and the aurora of the place is very welcoming and pleasant.

I can't wait to go back an hear more.  I have also learned my life colors, which are Yellow and Blue and what I have found so far go quite well with who I am and my personality.

Early Light

light is all around us, everyday, everywhere.....i love seeing light and the shapes it forms on objects.  beautiful.

Video self portrait

Started to video myself today for assignment, am nervous and excited about it all at the same time. Still have some to shoot. It has to be 2 minutes long, which is a long time...lol Will be editing and compling it all day tomorrow, have never done this before. Something new.....can't wait. It will be uploaded asap. Thanks for hearing me, if anyone is listening. Good nite

Fading Summer

Can't believe the summer is almost gone.

Time has a way of getting lost in life.

Not sure where it goes, but feel as if I'm in some place that I haven't been,

a place I dream about and want to face, faces I know and love.

Some days are harder than others, talking to her is sweet....so truthful and nice. I ache for us, for her, for his family, and more. I want to know he's ok, want to feel him again. She said she had a dream that he was telling her he was ok....made me feel so happy, but want to see and feel as well. I wish reaching out and he being there to touch was so simple. When I think about seeing his face, it tends to fade slowly...can't let this go. I need to know you are here still, in some way, some form. I don't understand why you had to leave, but maybe someday things will fall into place. I want to feel you, please reach out; I'll be there, waiting....

Beautiful losers...my dream come true

Sorry...a couple days behind schedule, I sorta slacked off.  Needed a breather, no excuses.  Watched two amazing movies.  The one was more of an action thriller, The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo.  Very intense with great actors, it was the original film, with swedish subtitles. Can't wait to read the book, wish I would have got to it first. $2.00 movie, can't beat that. Beautiful losers, such an inspiration to keep going and to always be true to you, don't let anyone tell you different.